I really need a *pout* icon.

[skkyechan]

If some giant, flashing neon sign doesn't descend from the heavens to point me in exactly the direction general direction (shoot, at this point I'll take anything!) I'm supposed to go, I'm going to start power-pouting. And let me tell you, that won't be pretty.

I mean, my god! Think of the nalroths caught in the crossfire!!

...

I'm getting very frustrated by the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with life, or where even to look for my next job. Hopefully I'll get frustrated enough that whatever block there is in my head that pops up when I say to myself "Okay, so what makes skkyechan happy?" will go *poof* into a million shiny, sparkly shards.

All my life I felt like I've been looking for something. I've always been hurrying through things, moving onto the next and the next. I've always felt driven, and I've been especially nervous and restless lately because of it, and I have no idea what I'm even being driven towards, or what's doing the driving.

Self exploration can be such a pain. n__n;;

Comments

[brennye.livejournal.com]

*smishes tight* Of course he's caught in the crossfire. He's the one who's supposta know you best and help you figure it out. :)

I've often wondered over the years what you and/or Erin would do if you actually had to sit still with nothing to do. I have to admit to a wee bit of pleasure here in that you ARE doing it. Letting your brain drain is a good thing, I promise.

Know what? Sometimes it takes people YEARS to figure it out. And some never do. I say that to show that there's nothing wrong with it.

I still think Academia is a possibility. Surely you've got the qualifications to be a research assistant, and you are in the museum capitol. ;) Even though your background may be in prehysteria (j/k), a lot of the museums could use someone with your brain ability. You've got the writing and artistic skills that could really help designing displays and what have you. And then there are your geek levels, which are higher than your average geek. :)

Just tossing ideas out there, and this: *biiig hug*

and this!
That pouty enough for you?

[skkyechan.livejournal.com]

You're mean-- you know Erin and I will asplode if forced to do nothing!! ;) And my recent stream of whiny posts is perfectly good evidence of this! ;D

I know some never do... but I don't want to be one of them! I think a big part of my problem and major mopiness is the fact that I haven't really progressed into an adult's attitude of these things. I'm really stuck in 'teenager mode', where 'I dun' wanna'. But recognizing the problem (or a facet therein) and doing something about it-- that's where I really have trouble. :P

As far as academia, it *is* still a possibility... But I think I have a lot of baggage to get over before I can really think of pursuing it seriously. Plus, I'd actually have to find a project I wanted to do. And unfortunately, the closest college that has anything even remotely related to the field I'm prepared to do graduate work in is in Maryland... and I'm not sure I'm that committed just yet to make that commute.

Very pouty icon! But just shy of not cute enough. ;)

[cheetahmaster.livejournal.com]

Self exploration can be such a pain.

I always take comfort from the fact that this has been going on as long as people have been around. The ancient Greeks didn't knwo what to do with themselves, so it's OK that I am struggling too.

Honestly, despite his other faults, my dad gave us one invaluable piece of advice: pick something you enjoy doing, because if you don't, you won't enjoy doing it, and it'll become a chore, and then you won't do it very well anyways, and end up looking for something else.

So. What do you like doing?

[skkyechan.livejournal.com]

Mmm. That does bring comfort-- the knowledge that this isn't new, and that people and humanity as a whole have progressed enough through it to make some really amazing things. I just guess I hold myself to the bar set by those who knew themselves, who found their place and contributed timeless works because of it. Maybe some of what's tied up in my stress over finding a job is also stress over my newly-realized mortality, and the desire to leave some kind of mark or legacy?

Yay stream of concious! ;D

So. What do you like doing?

At first blush I always panic at this question, thinking 'I don't know what I like to do!'. The truth is I know what I like to do, but when I try to think of the likelihood of finding a sustainable career out of it, that's when I panic. But since I think this was supposed to be a rhetorical question, I'll go make a list and ponder it elsewhere. ;)

[maroonmd.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's time for an arranged marriage?

Instead of waiting for something shiny and sparkly, maybe it's time to go after something you really like instead. Once you learn more about it, you may become driven and end up loving it! Sometimes you gotta make things happen.

Sorry this is so frustrating for you! {{hugs}}

[skkyechan.livejournal.com]

*hug* Thank you! Much needed, loving kick-to-the-butt received! n__n